6 Ways To Deal With Bullies

6 Ways To Deal With Bullies

It has happened to all of us at least once! Someone treating you badly or saying something mean just because you look a certain way, act a certain way, or just because they plainly just don't like you! Don't be fooled by the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but mean words can never hurt me!" Anyone who has ever been bullied knows that unkind actions and mean words can definitely hurt!

I was bullied A LOT in both elementary school and middle school. I was bullied for everything ranging from the way I looked to something I believed in. But when I got to high school that changed completely! Was I never bullied again? No. I simply learned a few really great tricks to dealing with bullies that made all the difference! Wanna know what they were?

1. Ignore Them and Learn Not To Care!

One of the main reasons bullies bully you is to make you feel bad about yourself. Whether that be to make them feel better about themselves, they had a bad day, or they just want someone to pick on! If you ignore their taunts and learn not to let them bother you, they will eventually give up. I will be honest with you, it took me years to learn this and simply "not caring" isn't easy at all. Something that will make it easier however is remembering these three very important tips!

• Don't take advice from anyone who does not have your best interest at heart. If they don't genuinely care about the way you feel or what's best for you, why would you listen to anything they say about who you are and what you are capable of?
• Bullies pick on the people who are unique. When I was bullied, I felt like I was all alone and that there was no one I could talk to about what was happening or how I was feeling. To cope with it, I started connecting with other girls who were being bullied to support them. I was stunned! Each of the girls I talked to were so nice and amazing!! They were all super talented in one thing or a bunch of things and they were all really, really sweet! I could not understand how they could ever be bullied. It was then that I realized that bullies don't go for the "losers", they go for the winners! They go for the people they know are unique and amazing in order to make themselves feel "better" than them. 
• Know your worth and never ever question it! When you know who you really are, a talented, beautiful, amazing, smart and unique human being worthy of respect and capable of great things! It will no longer matter what bad things bullies say about you because you will know that they are untrue! It will be the same as someone calling you a cheeseburger or dish liquid. You know these things are silly and if anyone ever called you one of these you would probably say they were being stupid, or even laugh! This is how it will be when someone says you are incapable of doing anything and you know you can do just about anything you set your mind to! It will sound exactly the way it is, silly! 

2. Stand Up For Yourself!

I will be honest, this takes A LOT of courage! A helpful trick is to think of it as if you were standing up for your Mom or your best friend instead of thinking of it as fighting for yourself. If you're like me, if anyone even thought a bad thought about your best friend you would probably end up on the FBI most wanted list by the next morning. You'd never let anybody ever say anything bad about one of your BFFs! Be that way with yourself as well! If someone is talking down on you, stand up! Say to them, "No! I'm not worthless!", "Yes! I CAN do it!" Just like you would if you were fighting for a friend. Stand up for yourself! You're worth it!!!

3. Tell An Adult!

This should be done regardless! One of the main reasons bullies get away with treating people so badly is because the people they are bullying don't go to an adult. Thus, the bully never gets caught and is never punished for their actions. Don't repeat that cycle! If someone says something rude to you, even if its the first time, tell a teacher and your parent(s) immediately! If you don't, the bully will see that he/she can talk to you however they want and you will not get them in trouble for it. Don't let that cycle start! Stop it, BEFORE it becomes a major problem!

4. Use BFF Power! 

What is BFF power? BFF power is the power of unity! When you and your friends stick up for each other and have each other's backs, no bully in the world can touch you! You become untouchable! I learned this when I was cyberbullied online. (One of the many times I was cyberbullied online.) Not only was she saying a lot of bad things about me and calling me bad names, she was copying my social media posts and reposting them on her page to take the credit for it. As soon as my BFF, Victoria, found out, she jumped out at her guns a blazin' and didn't stop until she left me alone! This happened many times and in return I always had Victoria's back when she needed me! It is one of the best feelings in the world having someone care about you that much to literally fight for you! 

Don't have friends yet? There is a very simple solution....Make some! I know it can sound like a nightmare if you are shy, but having a true friend is one of the greatest blessings in the world, I promise! All you really have to do is walk up and just say "hello!" It's amazing how things can take off from there! If you are worried about how they will react, try going for the girl or boy that sits alone at lunch or does not have a lot of friends either. Chances are, they will love to be friends! 

5. Talk To Them.

I know it sounds crazy and in a lot of ways it actually is! However, sometimes if you try to talk to the person that's picking on you, and if you can bear it, ask to be friends, the person who is bullying you will stop and the two of you will become friends! I will not lie to you like those corny teen movies, this IS a wildcard. They may want to be friends, or in some cases they may want to reply something obscene back to you. I do not recommend trying this on a viscous bully. By a "viscous bully", I mean someone who is doing more than just "picking on you". Someone who is physically hurting you or saying profane things to you. For this type of bully, the only thing I would recommend is that you tell a teacher or parent immediately! 

When I was in middle school there was a girl named, Ashley. She constantly said and did annoying things to me ALL THE TIME! No matter what I did, she always made sure she bothered me whenever the opportunity arose. One day for some unearthly reason, I'm still not sure why I did it, I said "hi" to her and asked if we could "put our past aside and just be friends". To my great surprise she replied, "Yes!! I'd love to be friends!" Obviously, we weren't like peanut butter and jelly but we were now on friendly terms! She did a couple of annoying things after that, but after I pointed it out to her, she stopped! From that point on, she lived her life and I lived mine and she never bothered me again!

6. Go For Ice Cream!

Yes! Seriously! One of the best ways to take your mind off something mean someone said or did to you is to go and do something you love! Whether that be going for ice cream or pizza, dancing to your favorite song, or watching that cool movie with your friends, DON'T SIT AND THINK ABOUT IT! Don't let the stupid things they said to you get to your head! Go do something you love to do to remind yourself of how amazing you are! After you do, I can almost promise you will feel a lot better!

I hope this blog will help you face your bullies and that it has helped you to feel better about yourself!

Thank you for reading!

- Leila ♡